Disclaimer: If you don't want to hear me rant, leave now.

mmm So my patience has been wearing thin these past few weeks as some of you may have noticed. I could let all the crap that has been going on consume me, but I've been trying very hard not to and to focus on what I really need to be doing at the moment. I've learned that life won't stop for you and to suck it up and keep going. I could say that life sucks and there's no point of going on.. but that would be a lie. (In case you're not too familiar with what's going on, just know I'm not dying yet...) So.. I've seen my regular doctor, my cardiologist, and I'm going to see my neurologist Tuesday. No one knows what's wrong with me yet. Trial is sometime this or next month. I still have no idea what's going on with my friends, but apparently they don't care, so why should I? I have no idea why I'm a "bad person" and you hate me.. I guess it's because I tried to help?

AND TO ALL THOSE EMO KIDDOS:

If you don't have real problems then SHUT UP. I'm tired of hearing all your crap. OMG seriously it's so annoying. Everyone has problems, not just you. Most of you can do things about your problems, while there are people who are dying and are dealing with them fine. I swear the happiest people are really sick. They actually cherish life and don't do stupid crap to get attention. Maybe it's because they've accepted death.

Oh well... my mom still says I'm special. haha.

I'm sorry you don't give a damn. There's nothing I can do to help you. And I never once judged you because I know how you used to be, and I know she's still there.

"9 Crimes"
(feat. Lisa Hannigan)

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If u don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
With you?

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
If I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?
Is that alright?
Is that alright?
Is that alright with you?

No...

I hate being shy.

The end.